death and rebirth
by Zephyr Hearts
Summary: She was known as Clare Goldsworthy, wife of Detective Elijah Goldsworthy. Many lies were told to keep his disappearance a secret, but the tables started to turn and all the unanswered questions started coming together after she received a call from a man she had been brainwashed to believe was dead. /Rated M for future chapters/


A/N: Hello. I know I have disappeared off here for a little over a year, and I do apologize for my absence, I'm not going to go into detail about my hiatus, but I will say that things are back on track in my personal life, and I will be writing every chance I get. I can't make any promises that I won't disappear again, but I will try not to leave you guys without warning again. Also, those of you that PM'd me about my twitter page, I have lost my password, and cannot access it, no matter how many times I have tried, but, I will be making a new one soon, I will make sure to post it once I have. Please accept my apology ;_;

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi, only the story itself.

A/N 2: I would just like to make things clear, no I do not watch Degrassi anymore (dodges flying objects) and yes it is because I lost interest, but I will always love this couple so... yeah. Sorry D; Also this is an AU and will be a tad bit dark, not too bad though. And the characters will be slightly OC. But you will have to trust me on this! This is my first time writing something like this, ever, and I would like everyone to leave me some input :) so don't forget to review at the end!

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><p>death and rebirth<p>

Summary: She was known as Clare Goldsworthy, wife of Detective Elijah Goldsworthy. Many lies were told to keep his disappearance a secret, but the tables started to turn and all the unanswered questions started coming together after she received a call from a man she had been _brainwashed_ to believe was dead.

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><p>Prologue – The Voice<p>

Every morning it was the same routine.

She awoke from her nightmarish slumber with a scream, her body covered in a cold sweat, and her heart would be pounding against her ribcage.

She would get out of bed, remove herself from her sweaty clothes and soak herself in a very warm bath and go to work with dark circles and bags under her eyes.

Today was different, however.

It was close to three in the morning, still pitch black outside, and the street lamps were still flickering on and off.

Clare awoke suddenly, her eyes snapping open as they looked around her very dark bedroom.

A small buzzing noise similar to a fly caused her to wake from her distressed sleep and she sat up; the mixed colors of the moonlight and the orange street lamp hit against her pale skin and made her look like she was glowing.

_What is that...?_

Blue eyes scanned around the room and shifted towards her nightstand.

Of course.

Her phone lit up and started buzzing again. As she reached over to grab her silver flip phone, her long wavy, waist length hair fell over her shoulder like a golden wheat waterfall.

Clearing her throat, she answered her phone with a sleepy, raspy hello.

"_..."_

Clare said 'hello' again and heard nothing again, only the faint breathing of the other human at the other end of the line.

"If you're not going to answer please don't call this number again—

"_Clare..."_

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><p>"Ahh!"<p>

Clare shot up, coming awake instantly. The vision of her nightmare started to fade as she slowly came back to reality.

She clenched her thin strapped nightgown and tried to steady her breathing. She turned her head to check the time.

_11:26 AM._

Clare sighed. It's Saturday, January 18th, which means it was the start of her paid two week vacation. She plopped back on her pillows and tried to sleep a little more, but her mind was still thinking about the dream she just had.

His voice still sounded so clear in her head and she suddenly had tears pooling in her eyes.

Three years ago today, Clare received a devastating phone call from the Toronto Police Department in regards to her husband, Eli. They called her in to give her the worst news she had ever received in her life.

The way she felt when she found out her parents were getting a divorce couldn't compare to how she felt when she was told her husband was in an accident involving the case he had been working on for two months, and he didn't make it.

Clare stared blankly at the ceiling, her tears blurred her vision and spilled down the corners of her eyes and slipped into her hair.

She turned to her side and stared at her phone plugged into the wall.

Clare bit her lip and reached over to grab it.

She flipped it open and her heart nearly stopped when she noticed she had a missed call from an unknown number.

Just as she was about to check her call history, the phone started buzzing violently in her hand, and a picture of her best friend flashed in front of her.

"Alli!"

"_Morning Clare, I was just calling to make sure we're still on for lunch at 12:30."_

Clare closed her eyes and dropped her head on the mattress.

She forgot.

"Yeah—I'll meet you at the diner." Clare responded, trying to make her friend believe that she didn't forget their lunch date.

Alli ended the conversation and Clare quickly got out of bed to shower.

She washed her body in a haste manor, scrubbed shampoo into her hair and was out within ten minutes. She dressed herself in a pair of jeans, a white v-neck shirt with a black pin stripe vest over the top of it, and black velvet booties with a silver buckle on the side. Clare walked back to her bathroom and removed the cap to her hair mouse and applied a generous amount in her hand and began scrunching it in her hair.

After she fixed her hair, Clare sprayed herself with some perfume.

She grabbed her phone and her car keys before exiting her apartment.

While blindly walking down the stairs, Clare checked her phone and stared intently at the unknown number.

_Maybe it was a wrong number?_

She decided not to dwell on it and made her way to her car parked at the end of the parking garage.

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><p>Alli checked her wrist watch for the third time, Clare was ten minutes late.<p>

She sighed and took a small sip of her vanilla coffee. The over the door bell of the diner jingled and Clare came rushing in. She apologized wholeheartedly and sat down in front of Alli.

"It's okay. How did you sleep last night?"

Clare smiled. She always admired Alli and her attentiveness. Plus, Alli being a therapist, she always helped Clare in anything she needed, especially about the dreams she's been having over the course of three years.

"Same as usual. Not so good. I had a different dream last night." Clare responded while she looked over the small menu to order herself a coffee.

"How was this one different?" Alli asked as she leaned forward and clasped her hands together.

Clare set the menu aside and took a breath.

"I had a dream that... _Eli _called me. And when I woke up this morning, I had a missed call from an unknown number." Clare watched Alli's face for some sort of reaction.

The dark haired girl pinned her eyebrows together.

"Have you tried calling it back?" Alli asked.

"No, I don't dare to. I feel like it was a wrong number and I'm just overreacting." Clare laughed nervously.

Alli frowned.

"Well it's normal to feel that way. Has the number called you since?" She asked.

A waitress had finally come to the table before Clare could answer, and she quickly ordered her coffee before she continued.

"No. I was debating whether I should answer if it does call back, but I doubt it will." Clare responded.

Alli nodded and finished off the rest of her warm coffee.

"What would you do if it was Eli that called?" Alli knew she was crossing a few boundaries, but she felt like she needed to ask her widowed friend.

"Alli—Eli is _dead. _He's dead... and never coming back, there's no way he would be calling me. And I don't want to ever have that thought ever to cross my mind. I'm still having a hard time believing that he's gone. The police don't tell me anything. They just said he's gone and that's it. I'm his wife—I should be the one to know about these things, right?" Clare had suddenly broke down and she took the napkin that Alli handed to her to wipe her eyes.

Alli did agree with Clare. The fact that the police department had refused to give her details about Eli's death was a little odd. There was no body on scene, the autopsy came back and they didn't let Clare see it. Alli came to the conclusion that they were hiding something, or that Eli didn't want Clare to know about his death if something were to happen to him.

Clare blew her nose and crumpled up the napkin. She thanked the woman who brought her coffee and took a sip of it.

The rest of their lunch date was spent in silence. Clare had excused herself early and gave Alli a small hug before she left.

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><p>Clare lay in bed, staring at the fan that spun around above her.<p>

She felt bad to leave Alli the way she did, but after talking to her about everything, she felt like she needed to be by herself for a little while. Alli had to go back to work anyway. Clare sighed deeply through her nose and closed her eyes.

Eli's face popped into her mind and she clenched the bedsheets.

Eli was a fantastic husband and an amazing detective. He was the best at his job, nothing ever went passed him.

So, when she was told that Eli had died, she couldn't believe it. She didn't _want_ to believe it. Nobody could.

_Bzzz...bzzzz...bzzz_

Clare's eyes snapped open and she looked over at her phone laying on the nightstand.

Without thinking, she answered the phone.

Suddenly a rush of deja vu coursed through her because the same thing that happened in her dream was happening now.

"Hello...?"

_No answer_.

"Please, if you're not going to answer—

"_Clare... it's me."_

End of Prologue

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><p>So... I'm a little rusty on writing. I promise the next chapter will be better. I kind of rushed in writing this, so I might go back and edit it, but I figured I would post it for you guys.<p>

Reviews are nice!


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